The Power of Self Love


There are many self care tips on offer nowadays, especially for mums. It’s great we have access to more conversations around self care and all that we can do for ourselves around this topic, however, I also have an equal feeling that it can be a little overwhelming at times when we are so busy holding an abundance of space for everything else that already exists in our lives.

Sometimes self care can feel like another thing we need to add to our expanding list. This is where it can become a burden in the very area that it’s not supposed to be, moving from self care to it’s opposite.




For someone who is passionate about self loving practices and making sure we look after ourselves first, I’m certainly not ‘boohoo-ing’ these self caring tips that float around in our world, it simply feels that sometimes we can get a little flooded in them because in truth, we don’t always have time for that cup of tea or massage when we’re in the thick of it. This can be challenging in trying to keep things in balance.




So what can we do that’s simple, full of self connection and care, and provides a space for keeping ourselves centred?

From my experience, it’s all found in the power of the pause. This is something that can have a profound effect on our wellbeing. Let me elaborate.

Firstly, let’s gather some understanding of what exactly the pause is and how it can serve us into a more loving relationship with ourselves and others.

The Power of Self Love


The pause makes itself known when we take a moment to step back, and create room between what’s happening in our world (externally) and what’s happening within (internally). It’s the empty, generous space that’s found between these two and when we give our complete and honest awareness to it, so much becomes available to us. An ocean of possibilities surface with an offering of how we can take ownership, staying centred and connected while responding, rather than reacting to what life is presenting in the moment.

With practice, the pause can be the first place we visit when feeling challenged, exhausted or overwhelmed.


There are many ways to pause but one that is simple and effective goes something like this – as soon as you start to feel the trigger of overwhelm: anger, impatience or whatever the emotion is for you that presents itself when feeling challenged, this is the time to ‘pause’. You may actually say the word out loud to help self intervene .

Take a couple of slow, deep breaths, becoming aware of how it feels as you draw breath into your body, focusing on directing it to any place that feels tight, contracted and restricted. Invite your breath to be a gateway to your feelings remaining fully present. Become aware in your minds eye that you are stepping back from the situation and ask your body to show you a more loving way to respond in this moment, towards yourself and the other person (it may be space away from the person, it may be a kinder tone, it may be inserting a boundary…your job here is to simply listen). Allow a couple more breaths as your body reveals it’s intelligence and becomes known to you. Stay embodied and then respond from this more spacious place. Be patient as you start to explore the pause.

Like with any new way of being, we need to practice and as our awareness grows, so will better relationships. To me, this is moving beyond self care into a space of truly loving oneself.



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Deanne is the founder of Self Love Woman. SLW offers an open space of high quality and valuable conversations, tools and resources, exploring what it means in navigating a relationship of self love.

To receive a FREE meditation, ‘7 minutes to Self Love’, please visit



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